The Second Wave...

We all need reassurance from time to time; a pat on the back perhaps, or maybe even a nod of approval. But does that make us a weak and needy people? Certainly Not! It makes us human. I don't know one human being who doesn't like vocal gratification, physical stimulation, or monetary saturation. (If you find one, send'em to me so I can rip the lie right off of his/her tongue!LOL) In fact, without such reinforcements, our actions, efforts, and deeds, would significantly decrease. I know me better than I know anybody else; so I can tell you from firsthand experience that a pat on the back when I'm on my knees, gives me just enough strength to stand up. (Now that pat on the back better be from somebody 'with no hands' (lol) because it may just be an insult if coming from someone with the means to pick me up. (But we won't even start on that subject.)) I'm still talking about 'The Second Wave' y'all. But I am trying to paint a picture so that you can understand where I'm coming from. WE ALL NEED A SECOND WAVE EVERY NOW AND AGAIN!

I arrived at this conclusional theory, if you will, while dropping my daughter off at school one day. Although this was a regular practice for her, it never really hit me until it hit me. The usual kiss on the cheek and well wishes for the day, almost always occur, but the second wave; happens without thought and without question. As I walked home on that cold winter day, the tears flowing from my eyes; warmed my scarf-less face and my mind began to overextend itself with worries of, 'Why?' "I wonder why she always turns around to wave 'goodbye' for a second time? 'Why?' Is it because she, for some reason, believes she won't see me anymore? Or perhaps, she figured I didn't hear her or see her the first time? 'Why?'" I thought about it for a while or just until I was warm and inside my home. And the hit that I said hit me...really Hit me!

The reasons for her 'second wave' may vary from time to time, but then again, so does mine. (Tears) When my baby waves, she's possibly saying, 'Bye again Mama!' 'I love you again Mama!' or an, 'I'm sorry again Mama!' (If she's gotten into trouble) But no matter the reason, regardless of the circumstance, what she EXPECTS; is for me to be there! (Tears)What good is any wave at all, if nobody sees it?

So it is at this time that I choose to tell God, 'Thank You' for the second wave. With the wave of Your Voice's hand, You spoke me into existence. But with the wave of Your Breath's hand, You breathed Life into me! So, "I Thank You!" With the wave of Your Heart's hand, You let me feel Your Love. But with the wave of Your Footsteps to the cross, You MADE Me Know Real Love! So, "I Thank You!" With the wave of Your Redemptive Power, You Saved Me! But with the wave of Your Omniscient Presence, You've Kept Me! And For That... I still say, "Thank You!" "Thank You Again Jesus, For My Second Wave because You have lovingly spoiled me into Expecting You to be there!" Had it not been for Your Second Waves, I wouldn't be here today! And just as I stand there for my baby's reassurance, I stand in the reassurance of Your Goodness, Your Grace and Your Mercy because I know...

The Second Wave is Not The Final Goodbye... ."

This Joy I Have...

I can think of so many songs that express my deepest, sincere gratitude for God like:

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands... .
I get Joy when I think about...What He's done for me... .
I still have my Joy... After all the things I've been through, I still have my Joy... .
This Joy I have, the world didn't give it to me...and the world can't take it away!

Joy? What is real joy? And I am not talking about Webster's definition either. I'm talking about the feeling you get when your heart is full of words that your mouth can't speak. Real Joy. When even in the midst of confusion, tears stream steadily down your smiling face. Real Joy. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you know what real joy is?

I'd like to think I know a lil' something about this feeling called; JOY. Joy, to me is; being able to wake up in the morning with more than the activity of my limbs. It is being able to wake up and see the activity of my babies' limbs. Joy, to me is; having more needs than I have money but still being able to lift my hands to say, 'Thank You Jesus!' It is being able to praise God in spite of my circumstances. Joy, to me is; being able to laugh when I want to cry; run when I want to stand still; clap when I want to slap somebody! (Awe! Don't act like you ain't neva wanted to slap nobody!) LOL God is Good Y'all! Joy is breathing...On My Own! Joy is walking and talking...On My Own! Joy is being able to see...On My Own...without the need for glasses! Joy is not only believing He'll make a way...It's knowing He Will!

I got to stop now y'all, 'cause This Joy I Have...Wasn't given to me by man, which is why he'll never understand...why...I get Joy When I think about....What HE KEEPS DOING FOR ME!!!
-A. Life...

I Know Why...

I know why the caged bird sings. He sings because there's nothing left to do. I know why a person cries when they get hurt. They cry because there's nothing left to do. I know why a real mother loves her children unconditionally. She loves them because for her; there's nothing left to do.

I used to ask the Lord, 'Why?' every time something happened to me that I didn't understand. 'Lord, why was my child the only one to get hurt when all of the other kids were playing too?' 'Lord, why did You create my back with steel and my knees with iron; when my heart seems so weak? I'd even ask Him, 'Lord, why did You bless me with the spirit of laughter, when I want to cry?' His answer would always be the same; 'My child,...you know why...'

As I type this, I am constantly wiping my tears while resisting the urge to question Him. 'Lord, why am I always on the giving end when the receivers have nothing to reciprocate?' I know why. I give because it's in me to do so. And since it's my desire to bless millions, He wants to see if I can be obedient with one. 'Lord, why does it seem like my car keeps braking down on me, even when a mechanic recently worked on it?' I know why. Besides the fact that He's preparing me for a new one; My car is actually mimicking the heart of my spirit. I continue to take it to be fixed by someone who does not specialize in the make and model; just like I allow my heart to be touched by those who only pretend to know the art of love. I know the 'why' to that too. It's cheaper...at first; only to end up costing me more; more money (because I have to take it to a professional), more time (because without a car, everything takes longer!), and more heartache (because my heart is already leaking from the cracks life's lust have created).

Long story short, when and if the officer of life issues me a warrant for the arrest of my heart, or a citation for parking in the wrong lane called; 'Lord why?' I won't even have to question Him. I may never know why my baby was the only one hurt; (not because I desire another child or parent to experience pain) but I learned to give God praise for the fact that she could've been hurt worse. I know why He made my back and my knees strong too, because He knew that I would need to possess the strength to uphold someone else while kneeling down to pick them up in prayer. And my heart...My heart is really stronger than I think. God just wanted me to get a minute taste of what He goes through daily. And since the heart itself is a muscle; the pain I have endured from the tears; will decrease greatly while His healing power of love rebuilds each fiber of strength.

Now, while I can and will NEVER promise to not ask Him, 'Why?' I believe in life, there's always a lesson to be learned and greatness to be seen. My tears will always be laughter and my pain will subside much faster; because...I usually know why... and since I know why...there's nothing left to do but praise Him in advance!

Do you know why?