Tuesday, August 11, 2009

When Is it Okay???

Wow! Have you ever sat and wondered about the possibilities of what could be? Don't answer that! Today I sat and had a major battle with a similar question. Only the answers fell more into the negative category as opposed to the former question where the possiblities of one's life almost always end up in the land of opportunity or the field of dreams!

My battle began with the father of my children, my ex-husband calling me and telling me that he would be moving out of state in a couple of weeks. I was really not concerned with his moving as I was with the fact that it didn't really seem to matter to him that he would now be absent from the lives of our children. But I laid back down and tried to fall back to sleep. To no avail I threw the covers off and went on a rampage...

When is it okay for men to leave their children as if garbage left on the curb?
When is it okay for guys to participate as father but when the relationship with a child's mother fails the role is abandoned?
When is it okay for women to assume the roles and responsiblities as both mother and father?
When is it okay for a man not to pay child support?
When is it okay for the mother to have to go without because her children have needs?
When is it ever okay for a child to go without?
When is it okay to be unhappy?
When is it okay to hurt?
When is it okay to forget your past?
When is it okay to give up or quit?

I could go on but as you can see the answer remains the same....NEVER!!! It is Never okay for a man to leave his children whether biological or marital. It is Never okay for a woman to have to assume both roles and though the scenario is known all too well, a child needs each parent and even more, the most important role model in a child's life is the parent of the same sex. How else would they learn to be who they're supposed to be? Women go without everyday for the sake of their children, not because they want to but because they have to. This should Never be and wouldn't be if the father was present. Of course you know when a woman who is a mother can't provide for her child, it hurts to the core. This too, should Never be! Yes, we women hurt for our children when their hearts are broken or when they don't win first place but this type of hurt is therapeutic in a sense because therein lies a lesson but real hurt when it comes to a child should Never be okay! We all know it is Never okay to be unhappy because sadness brings with it other visitors, (i.e. stress, pain, depression,etc.) who in turn become extended stay guests! And Let us Never forget our past or where we've come from because if we know where we've been we will have a better view of where we're going! BUT we should Always remember that Quitting Is Not An Option!!! Y'all Keep on keepin' on because it is Never Okay not to!!!

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