"Bring It On!"

"I've had some good days...And I've had some hills to climb...I've had some weary days...Aaaand some sleepless nights! But when I look around...and I begin to think things over...All Of My Good Days...Outweigh My Bad Days...AND I WON'T...I CAN'T COMPLAIN!" (Go'on and finish it...)

Many people who know me and have heard me sing, know that this is one of my favorite songs of all time. In fact, as I tearfully type these words, I am reminded over and over about the goodness of God. And I would be remiss if I didn't tell HIM, "Thank You!" So... It is at this time (if you choose not to join me), that I will ask you to excuse me for a moment. I must give HIM praise...because...had it not been for the hills I had to climb; I wouldn't be able to stand on the flat grounds of my pain and praise You in spite of the rocks that stab the soles of my feet... had it not been for the weary days I've had to endure; I wouldn't be able to gratefully experience and appreciate the gift of a sunny day, rather it be natural or spiritual... had it not been for those sleepless nights and 'oh how often they come; I would've never...Ever...understood that sleep and rest are two totally different things; it is during those nights of tossing and turning that You are teaching me to Rest In You, so...I Thank You... I Thank You because I continually look around at others who either appear more blessed than I am or those who are worse off than me...and I can't help but give You praise because even though I've had some bad days...too many that I care to count...The Good Far Outweighs Them! So I Can't Complain! Although my flesh desires to lash out at that which appears to be causing me some dis-ease...I find myself laughing hysterically at the enemy because I have learned that he can't do to me, what God doesn't allow. So...as I tell My Jesus, 'Thank You!' I am also inadvertently telling the enemy to, 'Bring it on!' If you're wondering why I encourage such behavior, the word tells me to glory in tribulation because it produces patience-producing perseverance! And just as Jesus told many; 'These things must be...'

Now the next time you're confronted with a situation that seems too much to handle or bear... Please believe me when I tell you that God's allowance shows that He cares! Don't trip or get upset. But if you do, don't let it last too long because you're wasting valuable time being angry about (one) things you can not change and (two) about things that you should be praising God for!

So...Allow me if you will, to give you a head start in telling God, "Thank You" while you cheer the enemy on. (***Warning!!!***Constant Praise Will Upset the Enemy BUT Evoke The Spirit Of God Into Action) If you are not ready for battle, you can stop reading now. But if you are...Let's Tell whoever your enemy is, together, to "Bring it on!"

"Devil, the more you attack me, the stronger I get! Had it not been for you being allowed to touch my finances; I would have never been able to praise God for the things I do have! My car is jacked up, but God I thank You for not having to walk! My gas may be cut off, but God I thank You for blessing me to still have a home to live in with blankets to cover up with! My cupboards may not be full; but God I thank You for having food to eat! My children may be acting up, but God I thank You for having healthy kids. My child may be incarcerated, but God I thank You for him not being imprisoned in his mind. My business may be slow, but God I thank You for having a job...(Y'all feel me?) Keep on praising God while you tell that enemy to, "Bring It On!"

The Second Wave...

We all need reassurance from time to time; a pat on the back perhaps, or maybe even a nod of approval. But does that make us a weak and needy people? Certainly Not! It makes us human. I don't know one human being who doesn't like vocal gratification, physical stimulation, or monetary saturation. (If you find one, send'em to me so I can rip the lie right off of his/her tongue!LOL) In fact, without such reinforcements, our actions, efforts, and deeds, would significantly decrease. I know me better than I know anybody else; so I can tell you from firsthand experience that a pat on the back when I'm on my knees, gives me just enough strength to stand up. (Now that pat on the back better be from somebody 'with no hands' (lol) because it may just be an insult if coming from someone with the means to pick me up. (But we won't even start on that subject.)) I'm still talking about 'The Second Wave' y'all. But I am trying to paint a picture so that you can understand where I'm coming from. WE ALL NEED A SECOND WAVE EVERY NOW AND AGAIN!

I arrived at this conclusional theory, if you will, while dropping my daughter off at school one day. Although this was a regular practice for her, it never really hit me until it hit me. The usual kiss on the cheek and well wishes for the day, almost always occur, but the second wave; happens without thought and without question. As I walked home on that cold winter day, the tears flowing from my eyes; warmed my scarf-less face and my mind began to overextend itself with worries of, 'Why?' "I wonder why she always turns around to wave 'goodbye' for a second time? 'Why?' Is it because she, for some reason, believes she won't see me anymore? Or perhaps, she figured I didn't hear her or see her the first time? 'Why?'" I thought about it for a while or just until I was warm and inside my home. And the hit that I said hit me...really Hit me!

The reasons for her 'second wave' may vary from time to time, but then again, so does mine. (Tears) When my baby waves, she's possibly saying, 'Bye again Mama!' 'I love you again Mama!' or an, 'I'm sorry again Mama!' (If she's gotten into trouble) But no matter the reason, regardless of the circumstance, what she EXPECTS; is for me to be there! (Tears)What good is any wave at all, if nobody sees it?

So it is at this time that I choose to tell God, 'Thank You' for the second wave. With the wave of Your Voice's hand, You spoke me into existence. But with the wave of Your Breath's hand, You breathed Life into me! So, "I Thank You!" With the wave of Your Heart's hand, You let me feel Your Love. But with the wave of Your Footsteps to the cross, You MADE Me Know Real Love! So, "I Thank You!" With the wave of Your Redemptive Power, You Saved Me! But with the wave of Your Omniscient Presence, You've Kept Me! And For That... I still say, "Thank You!" "Thank You Again Jesus, For My Second Wave because You have lovingly spoiled me into Expecting You to be there!" Had it not been for Your Second Waves, I wouldn't be here today! And just as I stand there for my baby's reassurance, I stand in the reassurance of Your Goodness, Your Grace and Your Mercy because I know...

The Second Wave is Not The Final Goodbye... ."

This Joy I Have...

I can think of so many songs that express my deepest, sincere gratitude for God like:

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands... .
I get Joy when I think about...What He's done for me... .
I still have my Joy... After all the things I've been through, I still have my Joy... .
This Joy I have, the world didn't give it to me...and the world can't take it away!

Joy? What is real joy? And I am not talking about Webster's definition either. I'm talking about the feeling you get when your heart is full of words that your mouth can't speak. Real Joy. When even in the midst of confusion, tears stream steadily down your smiling face. Real Joy. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you know what real joy is?

I'd like to think I know a lil' something about this feeling called; JOY. Joy, to me is; being able to wake up in the morning with more than the activity of my limbs. It is being able to wake up and see the activity of my babies' limbs. Joy, to me is; having more needs than I have money but still being able to lift my hands to say, 'Thank You Jesus!' It is being able to praise God in spite of my circumstances. Joy, to me is; being able to laugh when I want to cry; run when I want to stand still; clap when I want to slap somebody! (Awe! Don't act like you ain't neva wanted to slap nobody!) LOL God is Good Y'all! Joy is breathing...On My Own! Joy is walking and talking...On My Own! Joy is being able to see...On My Own...without the need for glasses! Joy is not only believing He'll make a way...It's knowing He Will!

I got to stop now y'all, 'cause This Joy I Have...Wasn't given to me by man, which is why he'll never understand...why...I get Joy When I think about....What HE KEEPS DOING FOR ME!!!
-A. Life...

I Know Why...

I know why the caged bird sings. He sings because there's nothing left to do. I know why a person cries when they get hurt. They cry because there's nothing left to do. I know why a real mother loves her children unconditionally. She loves them because for her; there's nothing left to do.

I used to ask the Lord, 'Why?' every time something happened to me that I didn't understand. 'Lord, why was my child the only one to get hurt when all of the other kids were playing too?' 'Lord, why did You create my back with steel and my knees with iron; when my heart seems so weak? I'd even ask Him, 'Lord, why did You bless me with the spirit of laughter, when I want to cry?' His answer would always be the same; 'My child,...you know why...'

As I type this, I am constantly wiping my tears while resisting the urge to question Him. 'Lord, why am I always on the giving end when the receivers have nothing to reciprocate?' I know why. I give because it's in me to do so. And since it's my desire to bless millions, He wants to see if I can be obedient with one. 'Lord, why does it seem like my car keeps braking down on me, even when a mechanic recently worked on it?' I know why. Besides the fact that He's preparing me for a new one; My car is actually mimicking the heart of my spirit. I continue to take it to be fixed by someone who does not specialize in the make and model; just like I allow my heart to be touched by those who only pretend to know the art of love. I know the 'why' to that too. It's cheaper...at first; only to end up costing me more; more money (because I have to take it to a professional), more time (because without a car, everything takes longer!), and more heartache (because my heart is already leaking from the cracks life's lust have created).

Long story short, when and if the officer of life issues me a warrant for the arrest of my heart, or a citation for parking in the wrong lane called; 'Lord why?' I won't even have to question Him. I may never know why my baby was the only one hurt; (not because I desire another child or parent to experience pain) but I learned to give God praise for the fact that she could've been hurt worse. I know why He made my back and my knees strong too, because He knew that I would need to possess the strength to uphold someone else while kneeling down to pick them up in prayer. And my heart...My heart is really stronger than I think. God just wanted me to get a minute taste of what He goes through daily. And since the heart itself is a muscle; the pain I have endured from the tears; will decrease greatly while His healing power of love rebuilds each fiber of strength.

Now, while I can and will NEVER promise to not ask Him, 'Why?' I believe in life, there's always a lesson to be learned and greatness to be seen. My tears will always be laughter and my pain will subside much faster; because...I usually know why... and since I know why...there's nothing left to do but praise Him in advance!

Do you know why?

I CAN'T SEE...

"I don't need glasses but I can't see. My visibility has decreased to almost zero. I wasn't born this way. God just figured my life would be better if I depended on Him for everything; my sight included. I continually ask Him, "Why?" but He never answers me because I already know the answer. So let me tell you a story about a blind little girl who grew up to be a woman that forgot she couldn't see."

...Bullets flying through windows and drug deals gone bad was a constant in my neighborhood. I walked home with my sister from the bus stop everyday. I was blind, but I made it without any assistance; I thought. I was carefree and lived a pretty normal life from my perspective. Although I didn't have everything I wanted, I certainly never went without anything; except my sight. I don't think anybody really knew I was blind. In fact, I didn't even know. But God knew. He not only allowed it but I believe He, in a sense, caused or created it. He didn't want me to see what many people saw. So He placed a protective film over my eyes, rendering me a blind little girl...

...I am older now. In fact, I am an adult with limited visibility. There was a time when I could see a lot clearer but I messed that up. I used my sight for evil and not good. I looked at others as if they were visible obstructions on my journey. If there was something I wanted, I went after it; no questions asked. Nothing could stop me because I could see! I didn't need anybody, I thought. I had no use for the assistance of another person, place, or thing. The problem occurred when I thought my sight was the thing that led my steps; only to find out that my path was set and my steps were ordered... By God's sight, not mine.

"...But I still can't see. God what is up with that?" He still won't give me an answer. He just says, "YOU KNOW WHY." "Ugh! Come on Jesus! You know I need to see! I can't see where I'm going without my sight! Please Help Me! Didn't you promise to be there for me, to lead me, and to guide me?" "AND I'VE KEPT MY PROMISE." "You have?" TRUST ME, I'VE KEPT MY PROMISE. HAVE YOU KEPT YOURS?" 'But how have you kept your promise', is what I wanted to ask Him because I didn't feel the need to start recounting how many times I broke mine. Shoot! Jesus show' know how to shift the blame huh? (LOL) Okay, let's do this Jesus. Since you took my sight, give me back my mind and let me think on those things... Hmmm...(He spoke through my memory.)

"When you were little girl, it's not that you couldn't see the drugs, the violence, or the abuse, I just blinded your eyes so it wouldn't effect you as much as it did others. I wanted you to grow up believing that you could be or do anything. And for the most part, you have succeeded. But you still have a ways to go." (I open my mouth to speak.) Let me finish before you ask me another question. Do you remember those times when all seemed well at first, and then suddenly, everything somehow took a turn for the worst? (I nod.) Well, the reason that happened was because you called yourself going to get some 'glasses' so you could see better. You picked out the frames and waited patiently for your new eyes. They worked for a while but stopped. Didn't they? (I tearfully nod again.) Well I think you know where I'm going with this, but to make 100% certain, I'll refresh your memory once more. ('Okay,' I whisper.) Do you remember when you were driving in the snow and ice storm and your wipers broke? (My tears bore witness) You questioned how you were going to make it home and for a moment, you didn't believe you would. Naturally, you shouldn't have made it, but you already know we deal with the spirit! Your windshield was 98% covered in ice and no matter how hard you tried to stop and scrape it off at each intersection, the wind blew more ice. You began to cry which further limited your visibility. Then finally..., you put your trust where it should've been all along. You put your trust in me! You took off your 'glasses' and you allowed me to see for you. You got home didn't you? (Again I nod.)Without your eyes but with mine. So...truthfully, you do realize that every time you put your 'glasses' on, thinking that you can do it without me, you will always get to the point when you need to take them off and use my eyes! The storms will come and the winds will blow; limiting or diminishing your visibility; but if your trust remains in me, I'll take care of everything for you by being your eyes with which to see!"
"Thank You Father, That I Can't See! The ice of life has frozen solid over my window but I'd rather put my trust in You because I've realized; I see a whole lot better with Your EYES."

"Because I Didn't Deserve It..."

"What are you getting me for Christmas? 'Nothing', you say? Well, why not? Because 'I don't Deserve It'? Man! You have got to be kidding me! Did you not see what I've done? Haven't you payed any real attention to me? Ugh! I can't believe this! Well you know what? You can kiss my... ."Aah! You thought I was gone cuss' huh? (LOL)

Can you imagine having a conversation like that with somebody; possibly a friend or a loved one? Shoot! Some of you may not have to imagine it, either because it has happened before or it happens all too frequently. To hear the words, 'Because you don't deserve it', seems pretty cruel; especially in this season of gift-giving. But to better understand the rhyme behind the reason, you have to know a person; either by association or the assimilation of a relationship. As a kid, hearing the phrase from your parents let you know that your behavior was unacceptable. But as an adult, you figure the phrase has an underlying meaning. A grown-up can't possibly tell another, 'You ain't gettin' nothing because you don't deserve it'. The reason being is because the pot can't call the kettle black! I just wish the 'grown-ups' who say such things would be truthful and honest about the entire situation. Joka'? Just say you broke! (LOL) It feels better to tell the truth anyway rather than lying and/or spending money you don't have! (Gotcha thinkin' or talkin' huh? Maybe even both... .) Okay, let me get to the time, when if you hear those words, you can and will rejoice. I know what you're saying. And I thought so too. "When will I ever be happy that someone said that to me?" Just let me explain. You payin' attention? Okay.

Just think for one moment, (you don't even have to think back far) when God blessed you and you didn't even deserve it. How He brought you through a situation that you put yourself in and had no way of getting out. Think about the time when you should've died but didn't. Let's not talk about all the times He has forgiven you and turned a blind eye to your ignorance. Ooooh! We won't even get into the times when He Made a Way Out Of No Way will we?! Do you remember the time when you threw the rock (whether it be a physical rock or a symbolic one)and hid your hands? You thought and still think, nobody saw you, but God did. How many times has He brought healing to your body? How many times has He brought you off of the operating table, when you should've died? Remember that car wreck? The one that was supposed to kill you but only bruised you? What about your children or loved ones? Has HE ever done anything for them? Have you ever been hungry and He gave you food? Thirsty, and He gave you drink? In the dark, (because you didn't have money to pay your bill) and He made a way for you to have light? Can you walk, whether you need assistance or not? Are you breathing? Well we know the answer to that one huh? Because you're reading this. And since that is the case, You have eyes to see! (Okay, Okay! I'm done!)(sniff)

I just wanted to make you think a little bit about that infamous slogan. It isn't so bad when you realize the gift(s) you already possess, were given to you, EVEN WHEN YOU DIDN'T DESERVE IT! So when somebody comes at you this season with that weak statement about what you don't deserve; simply smile at them and rejoice while saying, "Thank You". Now they will ask you either with their lips or their eyes, why you thanked them. Just offer them this simple explanation: "Thank You for reminding that God gave me LIFE, Because I didn't deserve it!"

-A. Life...

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